Supernatural Essay 2

Fangirls Take Sides: The Appeal of the Bad Boy Versus the Appeal of the Good Boy in SupernaturalBy Trish Milburn

The fangirl phenomenon has likely been around as long as moving pictures, but it has exploded in the years since the Internet has been commonplace in homes. Now, female fans can not only dream of their favorite TV or movie hero, she also can create a fanlisting or Web site devoted to him. She can design banners and icons showcasing him to accompany her online forum posts. She can purchase a T-shirt from an online store like CafePress that proclaims her devotion. I admit it – I have Supernatural T-shirts and a pin proclaiming me to be a Sammy Girl. What is this Sammy Girl proclamation, you ask.

Perhaps as old as fangirldom is the debate over which guy on a show deserves all that adoration. And the division usually comes down to one’s preference for the bad boy versus the good boy. Spike or Angel in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Captain Jack Sparrow or Will Turner in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, Henry Fitzroy or Mike Celucci in Blood Ties.

In other words, are you a Dean Girl or a Sammy Girl?

Initial/Gut Reaction

Prior to writing this essay, I surveyed several self-confessed Supernatural fangirls to get their take on the brothers Winchester – why they thought they gravitated toward one or the other and what they thought that said about them as women. As any frequenter of online Supernatural forums could predict, Dean got a lot of love. Why did these fangirls think their gut reaction was to go the Dean route?

Humor was a big factor. Quite simply, women like a man who can make them laugh. Like Spike on Buffy, Dean often has the best lines in any given episode. I dare any fangirl not to smile when he says things like, “Dude, I full on Swayzed that mother” (“In My Time of Dying”, 2-1), “Neil. It’s your grief counselors. We’ve come to hug” (“Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things,” 2-4) or “Dude, you’re fugly” (“Scarecrow”, 1-11).

Another attractant toward Dean is the fact that he’s good with kids, a trait that is hardwired into many women as desirable. We see this through his protectiveness toward Sam from the time they were very young and when he interacts with kids such as the boys in episodes like “Dead in the Water” (1-3), “Something Wicked” (1-18) and “The Kids Are Alright” (3-2).

Dean fangirls also liked his simpler view of life and the fact that were it not for having to fight evil all the time, he’d be a really fun-loving guy who would be easy to make happy. He tends to be a black-and-white kind of guy who accepts things without questioning, unlike Sam. Some fangirls noted that Sam’s moody and broody personality and his constant questioning would drive them crazy.

Though women have made great strides toward equality and shedding the notion that they are weak and need to be protected, that desire for protection is still very much alive. And fangirls overwhelmingly identify Dean as the protector even though Sam does his share of protecting people in the series. Perhaps it’s something in our psyches that tell us that the bad boy willing to do whatever it takes is the one we want standing between us and danger. And we all know that Dean has the hardware in the trunk of the Impala to get the job done.

On the flipside of the protector coin we find the natural nurturing instinct of women and the desire of many fangirls to help Dean heal his emotional wounds and find happiness. One survey respondent said her “slight preference for Dean has more to do with what I can do for him than the opposite.” Again, it’s interesting that this desire to help heal wounds is more often directed toward Dean than Sam even though Sam has lost just as much, perhaps more if you count Jessica, than Dean. Maybe it’s the fact that Dean holds in his pain more, which makes it more visceral and poignant when it does show itself, that garners the widespread need to wrap him in a blanket of love and understanding.

So what about Sam? What is the initial attractant of Sam besides his tall, lanky good looks?

First off, he falls firmly within the “smexy” (smart and sexy) category. For many women, myself included, the combination of brains and sexiness is potent and desirable. It explains the attraction of characters such as Michael Scofield on Prison Break and Dan Humphrey on Gossip Girl. We want a guy who is gifted with brains as well as brawn – the best of both worlds, if you will. You could have hot sex and intelligent, meaningful conversations with him.

Let’s contrast his characteristics with some of those detailed above that attract fangirls to Dean.

Sure, Dean is the funny one, but Sam is not without humor. And because it’s more understated and unexpected, it almost feels more real. For example, in “Provenance” (1-19), Sam uses a little humor with Sarah as he and Dean are digging up a grave so they can salt and burn the bones.

Sarah: “You guys are uncomfortably comfortable with this.”
Sam: “It’s not exactly the first grave we’ve dug. Still think I’m a catch?”

That’s one of my favorite lines in the entire series. It’s simple, but a fangirl can’t help but sigh and say, “Why, yes, I do.”

While Dean might be good with kids, it’s Sam who is often the more compassionate one of the duo. Women value compassion, are often the ones who offer it in times of sorrow. To have a guy show genuine caring makes a woman’s heart swell in affection. He also seems to have more of a conscience and feeling of guilt regarding the lies they tell and the credit card scams they use to fund their hunting. This appeals to those of us who value honesty. That’s not to say Dean is always dishonest or that when he is, it’s for malicious purposes. He knows that in the battle against evil, there’s no opportunity or time to hold down a real job. Sometimes he’s the voice of brutal honesty. He doesn’t cushion the truth, and sometimes that brutal honesty is exactly what people need to hear. He’s honest in a way that most of us in real life aren’t (but often wish we could be) because we don’t like conflict and don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

Sam’s relationship with women on the show mirrors how real-life women want to be treated. He loved Jessica a lot and it’s eventually revealed that he was going to ask her to marry him, thus showing he doesn’t have a fear of commitment. After he lost her, it was a long time before he could even admit an attraction toward another woman. In “Hook Man” (1-7), Lori kisses Sam but he pulls away. He’s not over Jess yet. It’s not until “Provenance” (1-19) that Sam lets go enough to admit a new attraction and kiss Sarah at the end. But because of their job, he has to leave her and anything that might have developed between them behind.

While we figure Dean is having plenty of sex and enjoying every minute of it (as his partners likely are too), Sam doesn’t have sex after Jessica until he meets Madison in “Heart” (2-17). Because this is the first time since Jessica, it’s especially heart wrenching at the end when he has to admit that there’s no cure for Madison’s lycanthropy and he has to kill her. The anguish on his face just before he walks into the room, portrayed so well by Jared Padalecki, shows that when Sam begins to give his heart to someone, he doesn’t do it by half measures. That’s very attractive to women, to be loved like that. And it makes Sam’s female fans ache for him, that once again a woman he cares a great deal about has been taken from him. It brings out the same instinct to help heal him that’s more often attributed to Dean fangirls.

We do get glimpses that Dean isn’t totally averse to truly falling for someone, however. The Dean Girl fantasy of being the one woman to make him truly fall in love gets some screen time in “Route 666″ (1-13). We find out that Dean can indeed fall hard for a woman when he meets back up with Cassie, an old love. In fact, Cassie’s past rejection of him when he told her the truth about himself and his hunting contributed to him not wanting anything more than a superficial relationship with a woman now.

Men, as a general rule, tend to be more black and white in their thinking, like Dean. But women analyze and see the shades of gray. Thus, Sam, who thinks in much the same way (even if part of that viewpoint might be a product of his worries about some dormant evil lurking inside him), wins points with the ladies. Overall, Sam possesses the qualities women value emotionally without losing the least bit of his masculinity or sexiness.

Deeper Meaning of Our Preferences

So now we’ve seen what attracts fangirls to Dean and Sam on the surface. If we dig deeper, however, what do those reasons say about us as women?

Perhaps evolutionary psychology plays a part even though the equal rights part of our brain might not like to admit it. According to Wikipedia, “Evolutionary psychology is an approach to the entire discipline that views human nature as a universal set of evolved psychological adaptations to recurring problems in the ancestral environment.” Under the umbrella of evolutionary psychology is the concept of sexual selection, which at its very core is the idea that women choose the mates they single out as the best protectors and providers and the best candidates to help them perpertuate the species. This might help explain part of the tendency to be attracted by Dean’s ability to protect. In the words of one survey respondent, “I feel safer with Dean. I know he would put his life on the line to protect me. Wow, that surprised me, but that was my gut answer.” Perhaps evolutionary psychology is guiding our preferences in men without us even realizing it, understanding it or even liking the idea. The same survey respondent noted that when forced to think about her fangirl preference through the lens of evolutionary psychology, she was actually afraid of what it meant. She also said that because she is so often in charge (as in her job), some part of her likes to have a nicely drawn, Tarzanesque line – “He, protector. Me, nurterer.”

That viewpoint will raise the hackles of some women who think traditional gender roles might smack of men exerting power over women and being in control. But if one steps back and looks at it dispassionately, one can see that this division can exist without either party being a controlling force over the other. Neither is dominant, just different. And it doesn’t erase the possibility that each party might at various points actually assume the opposite role. Remember how Mara Daniels, the public defender, saved Sam and Dean in “Folsom Prison Blues” (2-19) by telling Agent Henrickson and his men that the boys had gone to a different cemetery than they actually had?

But since the first man and first woman first clapped eyes on each other, the very basic theory of evolutionary psychology has undergone adaptations that have little to do with survival. Not only do females look for the male who can fight off attackers and give her babies, but it’s a bonus if he looks good while doing it. Adaptations include the addition of desirable traits such as attractiveness, a sense of humor (cue Dean’s wit and irreverance), courtship rituals, musical or artistic talent, verbal creativity, intelligence (cue Sam in geeky research mode) and altruism. We’ve evolved beyond our base needs, even though those needs are still very much in existence, if perhaps buried and unacknowledged.

Why have women come to depend on these adaptations to help them choose a mate? Perhaps if the man is good looking and reciprocates the attraction, that makes the woman feel good about her own appearance, improving her self-esteem. A guy who has a great sense of humor provides a nice break from the stresses and concerns of everyday life. Intelligence not only makes for interesting conversations, but there is a perception that if a man is educated and a progressive thinker, he will treat a woman more as an equal and won’t display some of the more negative qualities sometimes associated with the alpha male stereotype. If he’s altruistic, it shows a concern for those around him as well as the world at large. The importance of kindness can’t be overestimated in the eyes of a woman.

Dean might seem the obvious victor when basing preference solely on the concept of evolutionary psychology, but would he really be the correct choice in the 21st century when every member of mankind no longer has to ensure his survival by daily physical labor? Sam, in fact, might be the better choice as a provider and protector in the modern age. After all, he was headed to law school and one would assume a lucrative career before his father’s disappearance pulled him from that path. We get a glimpse of what might have been in “What Is and What Should Never Be” (2-20) with Sam being a successful white-collar professional and Dean being a blue-collar mechanic. We get the impression that Sam can provide for Jessica better than Dean can for Carmen. Would this scenario play out in some form if the Winchester brothers were suddenly able to defeat all the evil in the world and be able to move on to a normal life? Sam, having an education, would likely have the edge on carving out a good life for himself and any woman with whom he decided to spend that life.

Supernatural Choice Versus Real-Life Choice: Are They Different and Why?

While many of the survey respondents who were Dean Girls answered that they would in fact pick Dean in real life as well as in fandom, many of their answers why are tied to the common female fantasy of healing the wounded bad boy. This fantasy is played out over and over in hundreds of novels, movies, and TV shows, to the delight of fans. In reality, these bad boys are often too damaged to be healed and make for bad mates. But that burning need to be the one woman who can heal such a man and make him happy when nothing else can is embedded deep within many women. It’s intoxicating to think you could have that much power, that your love could make those kinds of differences in a man’s life. It’s a big reason why romance as a genre makes up more than fifty percent of the mass-market paperback fiction market.

Not all the fangirls with whom I talked, however, would make the same choice in real life as her fangirl self would make in Supernatural’s made-up world. Why the difference? As one fan said, “Because the fangirl self lives in the Supernatural world. Just like when I’m writing a book, I can live as a different person, someone who fits into that world. My real life self wouldn’t even fit as a victim, never mind as an equal.”

It’s a fantasy, pure and simple. It’s a healthy and safe way to “experience” life in other worlds, as people who bear little resemblance to our true selves. We’ve been indulging in these fantasies since we were old enough to first play make-believe. I, for instance, am the world’s biggest chicken. But through fangirldom, I’ve ridden with the Pony Express via The Young Riders, slain all manner of demons alongside Buffy, helped hide friendly aliens from the government while watching Roswell, controlled the weather alongside Rachel Caine’s Weather Wardens, and kicked the collective asses of the legions of hell with Sam and Dean – none of which I’d likely have the guts to do if they were possible in real life.

What’s Background Got to Do With It?

I believe a woman’s background and her past relationships with men in real life affect her preferences in fandoms such as that for Supernatural. If she’s had negative or abusive relationships or witnessed an abusive relationship between her parents, it’s totally understandable that she would gravitate toward kind, pure-hearted, idealistic Sam. If she’s learned to take care of herself, the need for a protector isn’t on her radar so much as the need for an equal partner. But if she’s only known good or ho-hum relationships, Dean might be an interesting challenge.

What one survey respondent said resonated with me: “In real life, I think how women respond to these two would be dictated by where they are in their lives. Dean is exciting and dangerous, just the kind of trouble a woman might happily take on at the right time in her life. However, for a woman looking for a long-term relationship, I expect they would gravitate more to a guy like Sam. Sam is sweet and sensitive, and is much better relationship material.”

So perhaps it’s as basic as Dean fulfilling our innate need for physical protection while Sam would be more likely to fulfill our need for emotional protection. We can certainly be attracted to traits exhibited by both Winchester boys, but who we are and what we need more deep down is likely to determine our fangirl preference. My preference is for emotional protection, so it’s no surprise that I’m a Sammy Girl. But I wouldn’t be opposed to Dean popping by every once in awhile to crack a joke or two.

Contradictions to Normal Character

In real life, just as it’s so in fiction, a person who is all good or all bad isn’t as interesting as someone who is a bit more complex. We don’t want to be bored with a guy and his lack of depth. Sam and Dean are memorable partially because they are so three-dimensional. And they are perhaps at their most attractive when they’re acting against their normal character – when the good boy shows a little bad or when we glimpse the good in the bad boy.

We know that Dean is incredibly attached to the Impala, so when he offers to let Sam drive it in “Wendigo” (1-2), something he’s never offered before, we understand this is his way of trying to help Sam over Jessica’s death. He’s showing the compassion normally attributed to Sam and longed for by women everywhere, even though he’s not overt about what he’s doing. It shows that he’s not without tenderness, which speaks to the Dean fangirl’s belief that he is a wonderful, sweet, loving person under all that snark and bluster. Anytime Dean cries, it’s especially poignant because he doesn’t let his pain show that often. That single tear in “Everybody Loves a Clown” (2-2) as he watches his father’s funeral pyre burn is heartbreaking. Any woman who has ever loved a man and seen him shed tears can’t watch Dean’s visible pain and not be moved to want to wrap him in her arms and comfort him. When Dean beats the hell out of the Impala, the car he loves more than most people, at the end of the episode, my heart breaks for him and in a way makes me glad that it’s socially acceptable for women to show our own heartbreak in less destructive ways.

Sam is our good guy, the guy in the white hat with whom we feel safe emotionally and, I would argue, also physically. Even as Sam’s actions against type grow darker as the series progresses, exploring the idea that he might be headed toward the dark side, we know that at his core Sam is a good guy. We worry for his good heart and soul in episodes like “All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2″ (2-22) when he has a very dark look on his face as he shoots Jake repeatedly and seemingly without remorse. We’re concerned that the Yellow-Eyed Demon was right and that the Sammy who came back after the Crossroads Demon deal is the Sammy we know and love. But part of us also can understand that maybe this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Many of us have gone through tough times and losses that piled one on top of another until we cracked and just couldn’t handle it anymore. We understand that everyone, no matter how good they are, has a breaking point. But we still firmly believe in Sam’s goodness, even when it gets a little tarnished. After all, he’s the guy who is constantly trying to find a way to get his brother out of the one-year-to-live deal all through Season 3, even though it may very well mean his own death. And he doesn’t neglect continuing to help victims of supernatural baddies along the way.

The Dean Girl versus Sammy Girl debate will likely rage on in the years to come, even after Supernatural has ended its run, much as the Angel-versus-Spike debate is still alive and well five years after Buffy and the Scooby Gang left Sunnydale behind. But that’s part of the fun. It gives us valid excuses to watch and re-watch the Winchesters do their thing. We’re searching for the reasons why our Winchester is the more attractive, and we’re enjoying the mighty fine view as we do it.