January 23rd, 2006
I’m tired tonight, so here’s a funny my sister sent me.
Did You Ever Wonder?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
If the funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
If cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Why do they call it a TV set when you get only one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If a turtle loses it’s shell… is it naked, or homeless?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?
What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company?
If a tin whistle is made out of tin… and it is… exactly what is a fog horn made out of?
“Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?”
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?